Free shipping

Our cousins flew in to the country for a trip, and came to visit us for a couple of days. Cousin puzzle told me he had a few things he needed to buy.  "Everything is so expensive back home," he lamented.  He wanted to buy some headsets and airplane adaptor for the flight back (since nowadays headsets are $5 a piece for the kind you stick in your ears, not too comfortable for kids). He also needed a USB splitter. We checked out Radio Shack, but the prices there seemed unnecessarily high. "Don't bother," I suggested to him. "When we get back from our trip, we can order it on Amazon, it'll be a fraction of the cost; and you can have it delivered to one of the places you'll be staying at later in your trip."
So, that evening, after the kids were laid to bed, we sat down for some online shopping on my iPad. As I suspected, the prices were attractive: $5 for a decent pair of headsets, $0.79 for the adaptor, and $3.33 for the splitter. I filled up the cart and headed for checkout.
"Well," I said. "the shipment is just over $12, but if you add another $10 to the order, it's free shipping. Is there anything else you need?"
"I don't know," he said. "Honey, do we need anything else?"
Cousin-in-law Architect sat by us to take a closer look. "How about that body lotion I saw at my friend's house?" she suggested helpfully.
"No problem, Amazon has everything." I said. "What type of lotion?"
"I don't remember," she said. "Let me check their web site."
We did. Half an hour later, we were able to narrow it down to the appropriate brand (There are a lot of body lotions out there). But which flavor? Architect was deeply conflicted. Pomegranate Citrus or Sweet Pea? Tough call.
"How about one of each? They're only $5 a piece," I suggested. It was beginning to get late, after all. The idea was accepted happily, but then, a setback: "They don't count towards free shipping," I said.
"OK, add in one of those." pointed puzzle. I wasn't sure I understood. "One of which?" I asked. "That," he said, pointing at the iPad I held.
"You want to buy a $500 iPad to save a $12 shipping fee???" asked architect, her voice sounding dangerous (but in a charming sort of way). Puzzle quickly reassessed the situation. "Well, how about a plastic cover for my phone? The one I have currently is peeling away." No problem, a quick browse finds half a dozen different brands, from which one ($8.99 for a set of 3) is selected. "This is great," says puzzle happily. "Back home I paid almost $30 for just one. Are we there yet?"
A quick review of the shopping cart: "Still $1.20 to go," I reported. A brief silence ensued as we contemplated the situation.
"I need a case for my phone," said architect thoughtfully. "A nice leather one, but not black like the ones I've seen at the store."
A purple sample was tracked down within no more than 10 additional minutes. "Only $7.99," I said, cheerfully. "But unfortunately it doesn't count against the free shipping."
Dispare was beginning to set in. Were we doomed to pay shipping after all?  Surely we can't give up now, we've come so far!
"Razor blades?" suggested puzzle in a last ditch effort. A final quick lookup. Yes!! they count towards free shipping! Into the cart they go, all $20.99 of them. "Back home they cost me more than twice as much!" says puzzle, satisfied. "I'm saving tons of money here. Are we good to go?" I do a final check.
"Huston, we have free shipping," I announce, and everyone's relief is very visible. "Ring it up and let's go to sleep already," directs puzzle, exhausted. "What's the total?"
"$57.69."
Relief gives way to muted shock. Almost $40 more than the original shopping cart total.
"Well," I venture, "at least the shipping's free."
"Yes," says puzzle as he stands up, tired. "at least there's that."